MONOSACCHARIDE: The simple sugar.

I will not allow myself to forget. I shall remember every detail. And I will remind myself that you deserve every single blow that I’m gunna send your way.

Weak is the girl who loves and shows it.

What happened to home?

I like inconsistent, incessant fits of obsession like these. It reminds me I’m still here. Ahhh depression, how does one describe thee. Where is that bloody rock? Why do I trip on my own ankles? Who are you, why are you so, where are you, who is she, how does she. Inspiration comes in loud bangs and deafening swooshes when you wish too hard for it. A premature gift before its time. Brought on by the unwilling santa. When it was quiet, the silence was stale. Now my head works but why does my voice feel so loud? Where did you buy your cup of tranquility? I am not rich but I shall starve for a month if it means I can afford one teaspoon of it.

Send the sony for repairs.
Wash my jeans, my jacket, and my bag.
Get my eyebrow and ears pierced. Again.
Stop obsessing over waxing.
Stop obsessing. Period. Stop the texts, the blatant get ons, constant jealousy, the yearn, the need.

So I’ve refrained from blogging for a long time, for fear of either jinxing it or revealing too much. But I woke up this morning to pictures in my head, pictures that weren’t there last night, pictures that flood in on a steady head, and I do not like feeling that came with it. It feels like a heartbreak, but the good sort. Or maybe I’m just masochistic. If I jinx this now then it wouldn’t be too bad I guess, I shouldn’t dwell on activities like these anyway, I don’t have the luxury of time on my hands, plus, erm, yeah plus plus plus.

But it puts pictures in my head. And you’re right you know, these eyes they fall in love so quickly. Not too easily, but definitely naturally.

How can they not this time? When even the heart sees beauty.

Then the heartbreak follows like it does everything that looks so spectacular. When the spark feels so near and probable. When I have the strongest feeling your answer will be a no. It’s a cycle but it mounts. Today I woke up to find that it’s now close to unbearable. I need to fall out of this cycle- And that’s why I’m finally blogging.

This is probably karma. For all those times I’ve played the race just to see who’d trip first. No points for guessing the loser. When did I let fear consume me so.

I am.

what I was looking for-

inspiration.

Seek and you shall find,
hunt and ?

I am not heartless. I simply forgot to retrieve it back.

I spent the last three months feeling inadequate and immoral. And then one light chat with a dear friend made me realise one thing- that all that doubt on my moral bearings and self loathing was totally unnecessary. I was just being human, that I felt hurt and cheated when my ex was found with different girls immediately following our break up.

It was just natural. That I felt insulted though we weren’t together anymore, though I was attached to another. I didn’t have anymore feelings for him then but when so rudely interrogated, even that simple issue of my feelings I started to doubt. And the possibility of emotionally cheating on my partner made me feel dirty.

As a person, my thoughts and opinions are extremely difficult to sway. I am open minded but more often than not my feet are always securely fastened to where they have always been. What made me doubt myself and let myself be influenced by such an embarassingly narrow and close minded individual 3 months ago, I’ll never know.

My faith in myself is once again restored, and I’ve learnt to never doubt myself again, that reasoned gut feeling or otherwise, I am indeed not that obliviously shrewd. Thank God, my parents didn’t do such a bad job afterall. I’m relieved I still have my head intact.

Girls, always be someone who makes you feel beautiful inside and outside. Do not let anyone bring you down with their judgemental, critical and shallow views. Be your own person, form your own opinions of the world and its people, decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong, believe in yourself, mould your character on your own, keep both feet secured on that plot of land and let no one sway you, and most of all, look for light in the right places.

To the smitten kitten who’s saved my ass countless times before, you are a true friend, thank you. Your open mind has helped me plenty, but most importantly, your open heart has helped me healed, yet again. AND NOW IF YOU’D ONLY PICK UP MY CALLS CAUSE IM GETTING SLEEPY HERE HELLO.

What’s weird is watching your boyfriend flirt with his old flame on unprivatised twitter logs.

My hair is standing. Yes, irregardless of whether or not the log was cleared following a confrontation.

To Nas’s hate tager who has recently reduced yourself to hate tagging me now, oh yes I must mention one thing, it is so obvious that you do not know me personally, and you have made yourself sound to be increasingly desperate with time, and to some of you who are waiting for new entries to be written, and to some others who are waiting for that photoblog I talked about- I KNOW I’M LATE BUT JUST WAIT OK!

I’m still very very busy, and blogging was made harder yesterday when I accidentally let transferred a pretty deadly virus from a classmate’s thumbdrive into my laptop. It’s been slowing down my IE and I can’t do alot of things now, including payment of bills through internet banking. I just hope my broadband won’t be cut off.

For now I’m just being patient about everything and hope the immigration comes through by Friday morning. So many things to do! Including getting my hands on new make up, shoes, bags, walking around in town and kissing my brother’s egg round head.

Who still stalks me here yay!

So maybe I was thinking- I miss girls. LOLLL.

I think what you have failed to realise, is that you were not supposed to look for remnants of the past. Of course you land back here, you were looking for all the wrong things, you forced yourself to search for familiar things, and for one who could provide all that then did. At the end of the day, when you go home empty handed, you miss then more.

That’s not moving on. You’re trying to replace, and substitute.

Even if you find Her, the one who looks and speaks like the one then, and makes you feel the way you used to feel, even if you find the past in Her, I’m telling you- It’s never gunna work out. There’ll be constant competition, cause the two are so similar. She naturally aims to give you the things you used to get, she will only aim to be like the one before. There’ll be grudges and paranoia and self doubt. She’s just second choice, second grade of The Original. And then one day you’ll wake up and you realise she’s not the one you woke up to a year ago, and everything will come tumbling down on you, like a bad roof.

That’s not very nice kan?

So let me go, let everything go, let go of our love. Let go of our past darling, and let go the idea of any future. And then, let another wave of love hit you like it did with me- Unexpected, fresh, foreign, new, frightening but exhilariting. And when you’re finally in love again, you’ll be willing to start from scratch all over again. You’ll be happy with Square One. You’ll be burried in obsessive hourly phone calls, constant location and strength updates, pushed to the corners with awkward questions and you’ll be chained tight- But you will feel free.

Only then will you know you’ve moved on.

The Students’ Society of the Faculty of Veterinary Medicine (VETERNAK) and Zoologico Club, UPM are proud to inform you that the DOGATHON™ is here once again for the 13th time. The particulars of DOGATHON™ 2009 are as follows:

Date : 16th August 2009 (Sunday)

Time : 7.00am to 2.00pm

Venue : Bukit Ekspo, UPM

OUR THEMES

2004

The theme in year 2004 was “Doing it the Hawaiian Style” where participants donned the Hawaiian outfits whilst enjoying a relaxing beautiful Hawaiian environment.

2005
In year 2005, the theme was “Who let the Dogs Out?” Everyone joined in the fun by coming in casual, comfortable, and colourful western-style outfits and experienced an
exciting Wild Wild West environment right in the middle of UPM.

2006
The theme for year 2006 was “PIRATES-All Paws on Deck”. The beautiful grounds of UPM were transformed into the mystical sea and land of the Pirates which included Buried Treasure, Water Lagoons, and Cutthroat Island ! It coincided with Dogathon’s 10th anniversary and was a great success where more than 2000 people came with 700++ dogs!

2007
In 2007, the theme was “KINGS AND CASTLES-A Loyal Dog is A Royal Dog”- where the ground of UPM’s Bukit Ekspo was livened up with a grand atmosphere where dogs were given the royal treatment by their owners in this fairy-tale like event.

2008
The theme for last year 2008 was “AEROSPACE-Astronaut, Asteroid, Astrodogs Woof Off!!!”. In 2007 we had the first Malaysian to go into space – hence in 2008 we successfully broke the record of “BIGGEST DOG GATHERING IN MALAYSIA” in the MALAYSIAN BOOK OF RECORDS by gathering a total of 611 dogs!!!

2009
The theme for this year 2009 is “CARNIVALE CANINE-Tails Up…It’s Show Time!!!”. Thus be prepared to dress your canine buddies in funny clown costumes and have a fun parade this August! We promise that it will be, equally as, if not more exciting than
the previous themes we had!

Come and bedazzled with our extravaganza fête!

A doggie funfair that you don’t want to miss!

Dogathon Objectives:

1. To raise funds
- to be channeled towards the betterment of stray animals, through welfare project “Pro-Kasih”, run by the Veterinary Students
- to campaign against cruelty to animals

2. To hold an Absolutely Doggy Day
- by organizing a fun-filled day for the dogs, canine-lovers and kids
- by enabling dog lovers to meet and socialize

3. To increase public awareness of professionals involved with pet animals and promote the veterinary profession.

4. To create a platform to promote the responsible dog ownership

Itinerary

6.30 am Registration
8.00 am Opening Ceremony by Mr. Anthony Thanasayan
8.30 am Carnival Dog Race
9.15 am Pet-N-You Demo
9.45 am Lucky Draw
10.00 am Main Stage Game 1: Fastest Eating Duo (FED)
10.40 am Main Stage Game 2: Doggy-Go-Round
11.10 am Pro-Kasih (Stray Animal Neutering Project)
11.15 am Session with Miss Joanne
11.30 am Prize Giving – FED, Doggy-Go-Round
11.50 pm Main Stage Game 3: Fixing Mr. Clown
12.30 pm Main Stage Game 4: Speed-o-eater
1.15 pm Closing Ceremony + Lucky Draw + Prize Giving

Official website here.

I am extremely honoured to be a part of this event, especially this year, since we’re DVM 2s now and we’re a larger part of the event than we were last year. Sponsors team raised an absolutely AMAZING amount of money, publicity team you’re the gem, exco team members, seniors- you’re the geniuses behind the success, games teams, volunteers, everyone- I am so proud of you guys!

Natasha and myself will be your hosts for the day and we hope to see you all there!

“Cut not the wings of your dreams for they are the heartbeat and the freedom of your soul.”